The Giving Game – Day 21

388042_10150451003369037_861600685_nLOVING WHAT IS

Today I’d like to introduce you to Byron Katie, author of “Loving What Is.”  Katie developed a simple set of questions known as “The Work.”  This is also available on her site, free of charge:  The work starts with something called, “Judge Your Neighbor.”  [Note:  When you do this, don’t try to be ‘spiritual’ … be as petty as possible!]

For the best results, answer the questions without reading through the entire exercise!

“Judge Your Neighbor” (If you’ll really spend time with this, it’s quite powerful!)

Write it down • Ask four questions • Turn it around
Think of a recurring stressful situation, a situation that is reliably stressful even though it may have happened only once and recurs only in your mind. As you answer each of the questions below, allow yourself to mentally revisit the time and place of the stressful occurrence.
1. In this situation, time, and location, who angers, confuses, or disappoints you, and why?
I am __________(emotion) with _______(name) because_______________.
Example: I am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me about his health.

2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?
I want __________(name) to _________________

Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself.
3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?
________________(name) should/shouldn’t ________________________
Example: Paul should take a deep breath. He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me. He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack.
4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?
I need_____________(name) to  ______________________
Example: I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right.
5. What do you think of them in this situation? Make a list.
_______________ (name) is _________________
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious.
6. What is it in or about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?
I don’t ever want:  _________________________________________________
Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again. I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again.

Now investigate each of the above statements using the four questions.

Always give yourself time to let the deeper answers meet the questions.

The four questions 
Example: Paul doesn’t listen to me about his health. 
1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.) 
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.) 
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 
4. Who would you be without the thought? 

Then turn each thought around. For the turnaround to statement 6, replace the words “I don’t ever want to …” with “I am willing to …” and “I look forward to …” Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done.

Turn the thought around [Example:  Paul doesn’t listen to me… I don’t listen to me.  Paul lies to me – I lie to myself.”]
a) to the self. ( I don’t listen to myself about my health.)
b) to the other. ( I don’t listen to Paul about his health.)
c) to the opposite. ( Paul does listen to me about his health.)
Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation

Watch Byron Katie demonstrate how to work with this process:



Your Gratitude Journal – There’s nothing better than gratitude. What are you thankful for today? Enjoy making your list of six. If you really feel like going `crazy’ today – go ahead and make it seven.





 EVERY DAY:  1. LISTEN to at least 1 Track DAILY &  APPLY what you are learning to your daily experiences

Track 2: The OK Concept    Track 3:  Your Daily Practice   Track 4: Relationships    2-3x per DAILY & Sing or Hum with  Toning Meditation.  Go To ALL TRACKS 

Link to ALL 60 Days of the eCourse