The Giving Game – Day 53


pure-love-of-the-divine-shiloh-sophia-mccloudFamily roles

Family roles can block many of the good things in life. The major family roles are the hero, the martyr, the scapegoat, the lost child and the charmer. The hero, martyr and scapegoat are all guilt induced, while the lost child and charmer are generated by feelings of inadequacy. While the hero and charmer are successful roles they don’t allow receiving.

The hero is the shining light in the family, always succeeding, always winning, being good at sports, getting excellent grades, etc. The scapegoat takes on and becomes the problem person in the family. The martyr becomes sick or has problems in an attempt to swallow everyone’s pain and save the family. Charmers, or mascots, entertain the family with their humor and play. The lost or invisible child tries to disappear to help the family.

All these roles are forms of giving without receiving. A family apportions different jobs to its members in an unsuccessful attempt to find balance and save itself. The more a family is caught up in roles, the more dysfunctional it is; and the more dysfunctional a family is, the more it will get caught in roles. It is a vicious circle.

The martyr, scapegoat and lost child roles may be especially destructive to beginning a relationship. Martyrs and scapegoats may not have time enough to focus on a relationship if they are still caught in family roles. And a lost child may not have enough self-esteem to even try.


Take a look at your family. Which roles did everyone play?

Do not use your family or anyone else to hold you back from your own life and a relationship. These roles are defenses that won’t succeed.

Are you willing to give up your roles to be the New You?
What kind of person do you have to be to make this happen?
Are you willing to love you enough to choose it?
Being the new you, in the lifestyle you desire.

If there was a “future you” playing the role of you, living your dream life, what features and qualities do you need for the role? What personality traits do you require to get to this lifestyle? What personality traits do you have to let go of for this lifestyle?

What attitude and skills does this ‘future you’ have for this lifestyle?

Now imagine your future self in a scene in your new dream life.

Now say to yourself:  IF I KNEW THE ANSWER WHAT WOULD IT BE?

1. Ask for advice on how to get to the new life.
2. Ask what new ideas can be implemented now to get your life moving in that direction?
3. Ask what qualities you need to get to the next level?

If you have a decision to make…ask what the best path is?
If you are stuck in the middle of making a life style change…ask what bold decision could move your life forward most readily.
Ask “How do I speed up my life and make it happen now?”

“What would it take….?”
1. what would it take for me to stop the time lag and make a decision?
2. what vibrational energy can I become to have unlimited resources and ease?









 EVERY DAY:  1. LISTEN to at least 1 Track DAILY &  APPLY what you are learning to your daily experiences

Track 2: The OK Concept    Track 3:  Your Daily Practice   Track 4: Relationships    2-3x per DAILY & Sing or Hum with  Toning Meditation.  Go To ALL TRACKS 

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